Tuesday, March 31, 2009

My mom went home yesterday

And I was freaking ELATED. I mean, ELATED!. Grinning, laughing....my 14-year-old daughter called me a freak. But in a good way. LOL We were very close during my mom's visit. It's like we close ranks around each other when she is around. She had taken the train up here Thursday and went home Monday morning...

What can I say? You know how all the shrinks want to blame Mom? Yeah, well, they got that right. She's nuts. When I was 13 my dad explained to me that she has an alternate sense of reality. I think that was an extremely nice and low-key way to explain her. She remembers things differently. She tells stories....how would you like to grow up and NEVER know what in your childhood was real? Are you REALLY allergic to bees like you were told all your life? Did you REALLY have rheumatic fever?

Oh, and that wee instant of child molestation when I was a kid....it was always so casually mentioned in our house like hey, no big deal...and then my therapist asked me if some neighborhood boy did that to YOUR daughters or granddaughter what would you think? I started crying and said, HELL YES. I WOULD THINK THAT SHE WAS HURT AND WE SHOULD TALK ABOUT IT.

And she was, what do I call it?, slap happy. Dear God...I had a friend and years later when I would be talking to her......and if I had a bloody nose..she would say....Kriss, you been talking to your Mom again?" and we would laugh. My ex thought we were "sick" and I told him. Jerkface (my name for him on the net) you don't get it. She was there all those years and must have seen me get smacked a hundred times....She GETS it. Humor is what gets you through the crap.

When my oldest, Sarah, was giving me a bad time one day....my mom grabbed her, took her to the bathroom and asked her to look at her ugly face? Did she want to grow around sneering like that? And I was like, MOM! Stop it..but nothing works on her. And if you call her on it...if you try to talk to her about something she has done? She freaking has NO CLUE. I always wondered if that was the mentally unstable in HER.....or just some mean ass manipulation.

My kids ask....why can't we have a nice Grandma? Um...because I didn't have a nice Mom?

2 comments:

Princess of Everything (and then some) said...

I have a nice mom and my kids have a loving grandmother but mine is crazy also. It was always there just a bit but it is getting worse the older she gets. I really wonder what sort of abuse she suffered when she was growing up.

I am so very sorry that was the mom that you got. I am glad that you stopped that cycle and turned out to be a great mom despite your role model.

Aunt of 14 said...

I totally get it. :)