Tuesday, June 30, 2009

My dad is dying

One nurse said it was like he was suffocating slowly. Okay, so who the hell said YOU could be a nurse? Jackass. He finished droning on about being on oxygen and I listened until I could round a corner and bawl my eyes out.

My dad was put on oxygen a while back but the way he put it was no big deal. As soon as school was out we went down there: me, my husband and Sadie. A few days ago we took him to the ER because he couldn't get his oxygen.

He is still in the hospital but expected to be released tomorrow. I am exhausted. Am I allowed to wallow a bit? I just got in at 3:30 am from a 15 hour ride from his house and must leave tomorrow in the wee hours to get back so he is not alone his first night out.

The doctor said six months to a year. I can't get him up here with me and I can't stay down there..I am supposed to check into hospice but what the hell do I do?

I am lost.