Saturday, October 24, 2009

What makes a blog?

Yes, I am thinking about other people's blogs again.

Do you have to have a giveaway to be a blog?
Do you have to have ads?

Mine is more a journal. I follow several blogs and some I
even read daily. I have a favorite: Scribbit..but I have
several others I really enjoy as well.

Sometimes I feel like a failure. Not too many followers. Not
that it matters. If I had a lot I would probably freak out and
feel pressured to give away something...the Queen Latifah CD my mom
brought me and I don't know WHAT to do with..if I open it and
don't like it (I like her as an actress) then what could I do with
it? Or one of the zillion makeup products I win and shove in a drawer?
Yeah, I thought not. :)

So I have been preoccupied with my father. He supposedly has but
a few months left and I have visited 3 times this year. The drive to
California and back is 18 hours each way but for him, I don't mind. Now
it is time for just Bill and I to go. No kids or grandkids. I am THINKING
Thanksgiving. I can't remember the last time I spent that holiday with him.
But it would mean Thanksgiving away from the kids and my granddaughter. I
have all but made up my mind to do so. If you believe his doctors then it will be
his last. I am thinking about buying a pre-made dinner like I see every year
and wonder who buys them? He has a small kitchen and this way less time cooking,
less mess, no stress.

The worst part of all this is that he tells me how he wants things: he can't
deal with any issues I might have with this. He can't be worried about my
feelings. He needs me to be strong. I get it. I do. It REALLY is all about
HIM. But I am his only child, his daughter. And I KNOW I am FIFTY but some
part of me is still his little girl. I want his respect, his approval (this
makes him annoyed) and I lean on him sometimes.

I can't type any more. It is too hard tonight. So there it is. It ISN'T always
about me. Sometimes it's about fathers.

9 comments:

caroneko said...

As an only child myself, I can only imagine how difficult this must be for you. As for your grief, I don't believe that age has anything to do with it, or that it should in any way moderate how you or others think you should feel.

I hope your father recovers, as slim as those chances may be. I hope you are able to spend as much time with him as possible until he passes. I hope your family can help you through this difficult time.

Best wishes--take care.

Tracy said...

Miriama, there is no wrong or right when it comes to blogging! Whatever format is right for you is the right one. Just keep at it, you'll find your voice and your followers will come! Blessings to you!

Princess of Everything (and then some) said...

I write my blog for myself. If people like it...great. If not...it does not matter. I find that, the more comments I leave on other blogs, the more people read mine.

I hope you can find healing as far as your father is concerned. Sometimes people just do not have it in them. They are bankrupt. Does not mean we don't still need things from them. It just means that they have nothing to give.

miriama said...

caroneko, thank you so much for your kind comments. I do plan on going there for Thanksgiving and being with him as much as I can. They gave him six months this summer but it looks like he may have a bit longer. Each day in our lives is so precious. Have a wonderful day.

miriama said...

Tracy, thanks for your blessings. It means a lot. As you can see, I don't check back that often and wow...I had comments! I was stunned and very happy to see people post. I should see how to have notifications that someone posted here.

miriama said...

You know something, Princess of Everything...I am finding healing. When you have warning that someone is going to die it gives you time to "settle up" and to find some peace. At first hearing those words from the doctor were so scary and I cried so much. I still do. But it has also given me SO much more time with my father. Thanks for your comments. And you are right. Commenting on other blogs does bring responses, doesn't it? :)

Priscila said...

I’m new here to your blog and wanted to “pop” in to say hi! : ) You have a beautiful blog and Ive enjoyed reading your blog posts!
If you would like come check out my blog and enter my current giveaway at littlemissheirlooms.blogspot.com
I hope you decided to follow me because I try to bring my readers a new and AMAZING giveaway every Monday!
Xo
Priscila

maggie said...

Oooh Baby!!! You are so not alone. I have a feeling we could sit and talk for days...the best to you and your family :)

Bren said...

Great start.... hope you take this hobby up again. Sharing live in the garden is fun!