The unemployed and their families

My husband has been out of work for a year. More than a year. It's strange how it starts out. He comes home early and tells you he is laid off. Not a complete surprise as they have laying people off for a couple of months. He was lucky to be one of the last and you are proud of him for that.

The company had never laid anyone off and had a record for once you are there you are a lifer. At first it's okay. He gets unemployment and when you don't have to pay out gas and all other things you are doing okay. And the company says things like "Hang on, we will get some contracts straightened out. We will be back on our feet." So you don't bust your butt looking for a job. You like your job and that job "security".

Then you hit the six month mark. Hmm...this is serious. Now with Bill you have to understand something. He had been working with some friends doing some side jobs. They hoped to have a company up and running. They consulted for other small businesses and did all kinds of jobs: designing, welding, building, etc. So this was Bill's time. The time to have unemployment while devoting yourself to a future dream. BUT guess what? Those same small businesses begin to fold. You watch all these people that you hoped to work for go out of business. And a certain fear and dread settle in.

My husband is 50. It isn't easy. It's damn tough. He has been a welder all his life. And his allergies have hit the roof. He coughs up crap, actually pukes...yeah, it's gross..but it matters. All of this makes for some scary job searching.

Now for the family. I am TRYING to be supportive. I hear some awful things come out of my mouth lately. {hanging head in shame} Is he really trying? Come on. There has to be a job somewhere. He is still putting a lot of time with his friends trying to get things going, looking for work and doing a lot of things around here. I think I see him less than when he had a job.

The stress in our house is high. Take this: "You KNOW your dad isn't working. We have to watch our money." This is in reply to a zillion scenarios involving our daughter. Really, Kriss? You think she has somehow managed to FORGET this? I don't think so.

This is besides all the scares with unemployment that you see on the news. Do I want the country to go further in debt? Hell, no. But I don't want to pay for stupid and unnecessary wars..or bailing out Haiti.

I want my husband to have a job. All I want for Christmas...

It has been how long?

I know I don't have a lot of followers but still...shouldn't I feel guilty not keeping my blog running?

The thing is that I started it for contests. Occasionally I would get personal and I even got feedback. Yay! But only two friends know about it. Why? I don't know.

The reason I am back is that I have been blasting my personal life out there for my FB friends and family and well, let's just say we are not all on the same page. And I don't think I need to use my FB page to shove my views in their face. Any more. Well, not as much.

Bill and I watched "A Single Man" tonight. It was one of those things I do. Watch a movie, run over and put in all the movies from the previews into my library requests. Later on I sometimes look at the movie and think, "What the hell were you thinking?"

I don't choose enough movies like this one. I had read it was a great movie. I heard Colin Firth was stunning. Yes, that is a word I would use for his performance.

But I don't see my friends or family rushing out to rent it. Various reasons. Not funny. Not action packed. Not educating. Just a movie about a man in the early 60's dealing with the death of his lover. A man, by the way. So right away I am thinking it will be classified as a gay movie. Sigh..

Not so. Colin is a man who is in mourning, a deeply sad man. And this is a day in his life with flashbacks of his relationship. And it is moving. Julianne Moore is made for her role. Have you ever noticed how she can be so damn beautiful or really plain? But that she shines in whatever she does?

So my FB post would have been one thing that disturbs myself about watching the movie. I am still not totally comfortable with men kissing. Shoot me for my honesty. I believe in marriage for gays. I don't have a problem with the idea at all. I would just have to believe that having been raised in a small town, redneck as well, has somehow contributed to this.

That out and posted for the world to see, I would recommend this movie as one to watch. Just sit back and let it play before you. The visuals are incredible. The whole feel of the movie is wonderful.